If I was in advertising...

I WENT SKIING... and almost died thrice.

I finally got the guts to try skiing for the first time ever in my life. Let's not mention the fact that I've lived in Logan for 3 years now. No big deal. My inspiration? A free trip with fourth graders from Mountainside Elementary. It was painless (mostly). I only came away with a huge bruise on my derrière. It turned purple instantly. And I may or may not have permanently bruised my right elbow. I mean I only completely wiped-out like 3 times. No big deal. But I was brave. I owned the mountain at least as much as it owned me. I was proud of my seemingly small accomplishment, all thanks to Tony at Beaver Mountain. So- thanks Tony for spending your afternoon coaching me the way I, a useless Texan in skis, needed to enjoy skiing and seeing how fun it can be to fall down a mountain in skis. :) good times. *********UPDATE************* I'm 97% positive I permanently damaged my right elbow. I think I chipped my bone? It's quite painful. Hopefully I get to see the doctor next...

Ponderings...

I've come again to the white page to fill it up with words. At this time, there isn't much I have words for, mostly just feelings floating around and making mess inside. It's all very hard to describe. I recently encountered a new idea of thinking about your thoughts as passengers on a bus. Sometimes, we let those thoughts "drive our bus," even when we know it isn't the best idea. Currently, the feeling driving my bus is something like hope, but worse. It's not the positive, genuine hope with the silver lining. Instead, I feel like I'm chasing hope, grasping at air, screaming in silence, drowning in the deep feels. One of the ways to switch up the driver, is to acknowledge first, who is in charge? The driver or dispatch? Short answer is... dispatch. The driver merely follows the route and direction given to him or her. It's the big dogs who are really in charge. False, fleeting, run-away hope seems like it is wearing the pants, but really, t...

Irrational Pregnancy Tears...

Today I realized that perspective is truly relative. You can try to sympathize or even empathize to a certain extent but no one truly knows how you feel because no one is exactly like you. We are affected by our experiences and our own perception. Even "normal" things like colors and shapes- things seemingly straight forward and unchanging are perceived differently. It's a fascinating concept I never really understood until I became pregnant. You hear stories, you meet people and even watch movies of what it can be like. There are several apps to choose from that will give you a full run down play by play of what to expect, how you feel, and common symptoms. But there is nothing in the world that can prepare you for how it ACTUALLY feels, for your perception and your version of this crazy journey of growing a human. I am so happy we are having a baby boy. I've always wanted to start our family with an "oldest brother." I'm grateful my hormones aren...

. . . and then life takes you by surprise and shows you something magical. . .

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