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circles, circles, circles

Circles are funny shapes. They don't have a start or end and you can get lost tracing them over and over and over. Forever. Sometimes I feel like I get stuck in circles of thought. I start thinking about something and soon I've been thinking about it so long I'm not sure how I got started or anywhere close to a solution. Right now I'm stuck in a big fat circle called a zero. Zero job. Zero income. Zero money. Zero confidence. Zero. Zero. zero. BUT. If you put any number (except another zero) in front of all those zeroes you come up with a pretty hefty sum. One, zero, zero, zero- now that's a thousand! Sometimes I wish God could be that other number, but really that other number should be us. Let me explain. God expects us to give something, our best actually and try our hardest. Say our best today is a 4. Now a four on the grand scale of things is pretty hard to see any sort of worth in, but God comes by and adds his love (40) and mercy (400) and understanding (4,000) and spirit (40,000) and so much more and soon we have 4 BILLION instead of just four. The requirement is that you have to start with something. You can't just sit and do nothing and expect to end up with something. Zero times zero is still zero. Everything in life that is worth something requires something, and most of the time it's just a bit of effort. "The difference between try and triumph, is a little UMPH!" (Heard it on TV) So I guess the point of this post is that when you find yourself stuck in a circle- try just a little harder to make a difference shape and I'm sure you'll succeed. Soon you'll find yourself with an ellipse or oval. Mold your shape (thinking) with just a bit of effort (try) and God will help with the rest (adding worth).

On a different note... It is important to realize when things are within your control and when things are beyond your control. Sometimes it's your responsibility to fix them and sometimes all you can do is cry and move on. If you ever confuse the two, trouble is sure to happen. Blaming others for my problems is absurd and unproductive. If I keep saying, "I can't help it." I'll never discover what I can. However, if I keep insisting that everything is my fault and I'm a terrible person and trying to fix EVERYTHING, this is also absurd and unproductive. No one expects me to solve their problems, just my own.

Another note- My brother sent me a quote that said: "You can make hard choices now that will make your life easy later, or easy choices now that will make your life harder later." I'd just like to say- AMEN BROTHER.

And finally- a little update...
I graduated Utah State in May and worked all summer at Pickleville Playhouse in Bear Lake, UT. I just recently moved back home to Richardson, TX to spend time with my family and help out a little bit. My mom is selling the house and moving to Dallas most likely, and my Dad is getting re-married and moving to Colorado. I'll most likely spend a bit more time here before moving down to Houston to help my sister, Shelley and her husband William take care of their new identical twin boys (due mid November). It should be quite the experience! I actually was a nanny for twin boys before I went to college, so it's fitting that I should do it after I graduate too, eh? I plan to leave Texas and move back to Logan, UT just after Christmas after making a pit stop in Colorado. Hopefully I'll be able to find a teaching (or education-related) job there and start making (and saving) money!

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