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Life in the right hand lane

Most of the time, I feel like I've been rushed and pushed, pulled and prodded to live life in the fast lane. I've always been in a hurry to be older, to get finished, to get to the next step, I forget about the here and now. I completed my college degree in three and a half years. I started a semester late and finished a semester early. Because I'm insane. Or impatient. Probably both. The point is, I think I'm finally ready to get in the right hand land and let someone else take the lead for awhile. Before, I always felt this sinking feeling when I saw cars zoom by to pass me, except the occasional maniacs like my brother who are probably trying to kill themselves speeding by at such a dangerous pace. But the others, the ones just trying to get ahead by a few miles per minute, are the ones that give my stomach the same feeling when you ride a roller coaster and gravity switches halfway between the ride and inside of flying into the air, there's a split second feeling of "oh crap" as you change to falling faster than you have ever in your life. The thought enters my mind of what did I miss? Why are they in such a rush? Should I be feeling that fire that says times running out? That feeling that says I'm late and about to miss the boat... And then I realize... nope. I'm right on time. Just above the speed limit even. I guess I am in the right spot. And this is where the feeling of contentment comes into play. I just graduated in May. I've had the time of my life this summer working at Pickleville and it's been such a blessing just to enjoy my summer for once. I'm not stressed out of my mind. I'm not crazy busy. I'm not neglecting anything. I'm just cruising. And it's nice. I'm not in a rush to get a full time job and be a big kid. I'm not in a rush to get married. I'm just getting stuff done I've been wanting to for a long time- like scrapbooking and blogging. I'm learning more about what makes me happy and how to better myself. I'm working on developing those habits that make me a strong person with conviction and meaning. I working through my health. I'm just trying a little harder to be a little better. I learning how to love- what that means and how it's different with everyone. I'm learning who my family is and how I fit with each of them. I'm slowly piecing my life back together and getting everything prepared for the next step. I'm just fine living life in the right hand lane, so that when the moment comes to switch gears and change lanes, I'm ready to embrace life in the fast lane, because by then, I won't be there by choice, but I'll be loving every single moment of it.

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