It's that time of the year again when the year starts over.
false start
written by Lisa Stoddard
I can never get things right
I'll never get this done.
Ever changing who I am
Never getting past square one.
It seems I'm going nowhere
Even after running for miles
The work to do will keep coming
Always growing to do piles .
How can I ever begin to feel good
About starting over all the time
Why even start? Its frustrating,
Like couplets that refuse to rhyme.
As hard as I try and try
Each time I slip and again I fail.
At the rate I'm going
I won't ever win, can't seem to prevail.
There will always be change.
For change is the only constant.
I'm sick of starting over,
All the hard work gone in an instant.
I've learned so much
I have come so very far
But now back at point A,
it was just a stupid false start.
I wrote that poem a long time ago. It's about the annoying mindset of having to start over to accomplish something new instead of just beginning where you are. The point of a new year isn't about forgetting your past and rewriting your life, it's about refocusing. They say it takes 21 days to make something a habit. Well there's a challenge if I ever saw one! And so I'll take it.
January: Habit #1: Define a sleeping schedule.
This "goal" has been one that I've struggled with for a long, long time. Call it depression, lack of motivation, laziness, a bad habit, or whatever. I've "rededicated" and "refocused" a billion times. This time I'm just gonna do it. That time I put myself through boot camp and blacklisted the complaining vocabulary worked pretty well. The thing I've realized is that if I have nothing planned to get up for, there is not much I'm willing to do about getting out of bed. If the world feels a billion times bigger than my faith, there's only so much I can achieve. Which brings up the worst part about change..... simultaneous change.
The hardest thing about making a change in your life, is the fact that more than one thing has to change and that each aspect affects every part of your life. I can't just change my sleeping schedule, because it affects how much time I have every day and lends to the idea that I should change what I do everyday. I don't want to just change this one thing, I want to change 47. But the key I'm going to try is being accountable for one thing at a time. Just because sleeping is the only thing I'm keeping track of, doesn't mean I can't try and change other things too, it just makes it easier to do it one thing at a time.
So. Here is the plan. My goal is to wake up everyday at the same time for 21 days straight. The target time is 8am. The day to start? January 1st. I'll have so much time on my hands, surely I can accomplish finding a job, being productive, catching up on my reading, finishing scrapbooking projects, and spending time with that devilishly handsome boy of mine, Tim. I can do anything for 21 days, right? Anyone wanna make this year a year of habits with me? What will your January hold? One focus for twelve months. That seems a lot easier than doing the same 40 things for 365 days.
2012- Here I come. Prepare to be amazed. I'm becoming an adult. I own a lightsaber, I bathe in gelly goo, and I color giant coloring book pages. None of that will change. But I will find a full-time job, and become somewhat responsible for myself. TWENTYTWELVE- the year of habits begins in TWODAYS. I. AM. READY.
false start
written by Lisa Stoddard
I can never get things right
I'll never get this done.
Ever changing who I am
Never getting past square one.
It seems I'm going nowhere
Even after running for miles
The work to do will keep coming
Always growing to do piles .
How can I ever begin to feel good
About starting over all the time
Why even start? Its frustrating,
Like couplets that refuse to rhyme.
As hard as I try and try
Each time I slip and again I fail.
At the rate I'm going
I won't ever win, can't seem to prevail.
There will always be change.
For change is the only constant.
I'm sick of starting over,
All the hard work gone in an instant.
I've learned so much
I have come so very far
But now back at point A,
it was just a stupid false start.
I wrote that poem a long time ago. It's about the annoying mindset of having to start over to accomplish something new instead of just beginning where you are. The point of a new year isn't about forgetting your past and rewriting your life, it's about refocusing. They say it takes 21 days to make something a habit. Well there's a challenge if I ever saw one! And so I'll take it.
January: Habit #1: Define a sleeping schedule.
This "goal" has been one that I've struggled with for a long, long time. Call it depression, lack of motivation, laziness, a bad habit, or whatever. I've "rededicated" and "refocused" a billion times. This time I'm just gonna do it. That time I put myself through boot camp and blacklisted the complaining vocabulary worked pretty well. The thing I've realized is that if I have nothing planned to get up for, there is not much I'm willing to do about getting out of bed. If the world feels a billion times bigger than my faith, there's only so much I can achieve. Which brings up the worst part about change..... simultaneous change.
The hardest thing about making a change in your life, is the fact that more than one thing has to change and that each aspect affects every part of your life. I can't just change my sleeping schedule, because it affects how much time I have every day and lends to the idea that I should change what I do everyday. I don't want to just change this one thing, I want to change 47. But the key I'm going to try is being accountable for one thing at a time. Just because sleeping is the only thing I'm keeping track of, doesn't mean I can't try and change other things too, it just makes it easier to do it one thing at a time.
So. Here is the plan. My goal is to wake up everyday at the same time for 21 days straight. The target time is 8am. The day to start? January 1st. I'll have so much time on my hands, surely I can accomplish finding a job, being productive, catching up on my reading, finishing scrapbooking projects, and spending time with that devilishly handsome boy of mine, Tim. I can do anything for 21 days, right? Anyone wanna make this year a year of habits with me? What will your January hold? One focus for twelve months. That seems a lot easier than doing the same 40 things for 365 days.
2012- Here I come. Prepare to be amazed. I'm becoming an adult. I own a lightsaber, I bathe in gelly goo, and I color giant coloring book pages. None of that will change. But I will find a full-time job, and become somewhat responsible for myself. TWENTYTWELVE- the year of habits begins in TWODAYS. I. AM. READY.
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